The Revenge of Mysterio! (Seasholtz Comics Group circa 1982)

RUSSIANS, AMERICANS AND JAY

Okay, this is a children's book that I wrote as a class assignment in 1986 or 87. You can see that even back then I had a VERY LEFTIST point of view. My teacher didn't like it very much. She liked parts of it like the snapshots of Dad and Grampa but thought I oversimplified the politics and then "threw it all back in God's hands" at the end. In my defense, it was a children's book. Shouldn't it be SIMPLE? I think Dr. Suess would've liked it. In fact, I think the Butter Battle Book came out shortly after I finished this. I find it quite amusing and very 80's. I was such a little subversive!

If you dig really funny and disgusting cartoons then you will love JOHNNY RYAN of whom I've been a fan since he was putting out his own self-published comix that I would peddle at Quimby's in the late 90's. He has a weekly strip called Yucky Bleckarella and a comic book called Angry Youth and a very gory series of sci-fi wrestling books called PRISON PIT which looks like something a stoner would have drawn after reading a stack of HEAVY METAL magazines. He is a really savage satirist as well. I highly recommend COMIC BOOK HOLOCAUST it'll blow you mind! Check him out at-www.johnnyryan.com.

Look at this cocky bastard.
Ready to take on all of Chicago.
Will his dreams freeze over like Lake Michigan?
Or will his ego boil these same waters?

There will be lots of good times.
Collective theater projects that become Critic's Choice in the Reader.
Ranting at the Green Mill during the birth of the poetry slam.
Pornographic puppetry at Second City.

There will be times spent in dark corners of smelly apartments.
Plenty of unemployed days that started at 5PM and ended at 5AM
Talking shit after hours in a grimy bar in Wicker Park with Mike the door guy
who played in a death metal band called Black Hand.

He will never have a serious girlfriend in the 10 years he lives here.
He will fall in love a hundred times.
He will fall on his ass on the icy sidewalks.
He will fall on his ass at a book release party at Quimby's where he works.
He will wake up with his glasses duct taped together the next morning.

He will eventually meet a girl from New York City.
He will move there to be with her.
He will think of Chicago fondly.
The city that took his 20's and forged a humble man.

My Baby Is Born!

This is what Santa brought me this year! It's got all of my GREATEST HITS and is illustrated by the awesome Sam Henderson! It's 150 pages of AWESOME from Penmanship Books and it can be in your hot little hands by ordering it from the column on the right! It's $15 (plus $2 shipping). I'm happy to personalize it as well just send a  message with your payment! I plan to tour with this throughout 2011 but I can't guarantee I'll make it to your town! Help me live the dream! Support your favorite nerd poet! Hint-it's me!

Shappy Holidzaze!

TRON opening day ad

I meant to post this last Friday! Went and saw the new TRON and I'll say this much. TRON will give us nerds plenty to argue about over the holidays and that is gift unto itself! I lift my vintage TRON cup from Burger King and offer a toast to all who kept the TRON-FIRES burning all of these years!