Saturday, January 1, 2011





Look at this cocky bastard.
Ready to take on all of Chicago.
Will his dreams freeze over like Lake Michigan?
Or will his ego boil these same waters?

There will be lots of good times.
Collective theater projects that become Critic's Choice in the Reader.
Ranting at the Green Mill during the birth of the poetry slam.
Pornographic puppetry at Second City.

There will be times spent in dark corners of smelly apartments.
Plenty of unemployed days that started at 5PM and ended at 5AM
Talking shit after hours in a grimy bar in Wicker Park with Mike the door guy
who played in a death metal band called Black Hand.

He will never have a serious girlfriend in the 10 years he lives here.
He will fall in love a hundred times.
He will fall on his ass on the icy sidewalks.
He will fall on his ass at a book release party at Quimby's where he works.
He will wake up with his glasses duct taped together the next morning.

He will eventually meet a girl from New York City.
He will move there to be with her.
He will think of Chicago fondly.
The city that took his 20's and forged a humble man.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

My Baby Is Born!

This is what Santa brought me this year! It's got all of my GREATEST HITS and is illustrated by the awesome Sam Henderson! It's 150 pages of AWESOME from Penmanship Books and it can be in your hot little hands by ordering it from the column on the right! It's $15 (plus $2 shipping). I'm happy to personalize it as well just send a  message with your payment! I plan to tour with this throughout 2011 but I can't guarantee I'll make it to your town! Help me live the dream! Support your favorite nerd poet! Hint-it's me!

Monday, December 20, 2010

TRON opening day ad

I meant to post this last Friday! Went and saw the new TRON and I'll say this much. TRON will give us nerds plenty to argue about over the holidays and that is gift unto itself! I lift my vintage TRON cup from Burger King and offer a toast to all who kept the TRON-FIRES burning all of these years!

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

TRON review from 82!







This is a review I clipped from the Dayton Daily News from July 9th, 1982. Looking at that picture of Hal Lipper makes me think he should have LOVED TRON but I guess not so much.I remember this review making me pretty angry as a 13 year old film-goer. We now know TRON is a NERD CLASSIC!

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Good Grief! A letter from Charles Schulz!



When you write a letter
To the creator of a world
That means the world to you
You don't expect a response

But when the man who gave the world Snoopy
Takes the time to respond to a letter
From a 10 year old little boy from Ohio
It makes his backyard seem
Like the most sincere pumpkin patch
In all of the world






Monday, December 6, 2010

Biblical Timeline

Here's your favorite Bible dudes from the Old Testament done in a wacky Don Martin style just in time for Hanukkah! I drew this for a Sunday School project when I was 13.